Where forwards come to die.. |
Yup, we all get em, sometimes more than once.. email forwards.. some are funny.. some really aren't.. but here's where they go to die. Forward any you receive to starpulp@gmail.com w/ the subject "email forwards tumblr" and I'll select the extra special ones to post here.. |
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Subject: Follow that dog!
Read moreMoscow Dogs
> Dogs are allowed on public transport in all of Europe, but generally with their master. This is even more interesting.
> - Text Subject: No matter what you do…it’s the wrong thing
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Subject: Which kind of drinker are you?
Which kind of a Drinker are you?
6 Beers
2 Glasses of Wine
2 Bottles of Wine… shared, of course
Too many margaritas
3 Kamikazes
7 Rum and Cokes
1 LARGE Purple Haze
3 Martinis
1 Bottle of Tequila - Text Subject: A Little Christmas Humor
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Subject: AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
An atheist was walking through the woods.
‘What majestic trees!
‘What powerful rivers!
‘What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder &
saw that the bear was closing in on him..
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top
of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to
strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out,
‘Oh my God!’
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
“You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident.”
“Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?”
The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of
me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you
could make the BEAR a Christian”
‘Very well,’ said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear
dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &
spoke:
“Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty
through Christ our Lord, Amen.” - Text Subject: true story from your childhood
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Subject: A Little Christmas Story
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves didn’t produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. Not a lot of people know this.
- Text Subject: TSA bumper stickers
- Text Subject: Getting older with the girls
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Subject: Family ideas
